Adventures in Haircutting

So today is our 5th anniversary, and we decided to celebrate by testing out the new haircutting kit my husband purchased. Yeah, I know, we're wild and crazy.

This purchase came about when I realized that my husband actually pays his elderly barber $10 every few weeks to shave his head nearly bald. In yet another attempt at being thrifty, I concluded that a haircutting kit is only about $30 so theoretically it would pay for itself in a matter of a couple months. Besides, how much skill could possibly be involved in shaving someone's head?

Plenty, as it turns out.

First and foremost, if you plan on doing such a thing in your own home, please - for the love of Dog - put a garbage bag down underneath you. You may think that a broom will do the trick, but really it just seperates the hairs and spreads them all around. Believe me when I say that there is nothing worse than sharp invisible man hairs sticking out of your bare foot. Which reminds me, also don't do this in bare feet.

I grabbed what I imagined would be the correct guide - the one that would take my husband's hair down past Marine level but not so far that he'd get confused for Mr. Clean. I snapped it into place and got ready to buzz. Ever the pessimist though, my husband decided that it might be a good idea for me to at least LOOK at the directions before I put the blades to his head. So I pulled out the sheet and looked at it, all the while imagining the cool designs I could draw into the side of his head once I gained mastery of my new little tool. When I determined that I had looked at the sheet long enough to convince him I was indeed competent enough to do what his ancient barber does, I clicked the razor on and away we went.

Ears are tricky. The knob on the back of your skull is tricky. But the neckline in back? That proved to be my biggest challenge. Not because of the blue painter's tape I used in order to get a nice straight line, but because I threw caution to the wind and took off the guide. This, my friends, is a little bit like jumping out of the plane before your skydiving lesson is finished. Did you know that the razor, without a guide, is really just a bunch of blades? I'll show you the red and partially bloody lines on the back of my husband's neck to prove to you it's true.

All in all though, despite the minor bloodshed, and the fact that I dropped the razor on the hard kitchen floor and broke the #2 guide that is pretty much the most vital piece of the whole haircutting kit, and the fact that I will forever have tiny razorblade hairs scattered around my kitchen floor, I think I did an ok job. He has a lot less hair, which was the goal after all. Hopefully, by the time Owen grows three or four more hairs himself, I will be able to wield that razor like a haircutting ninja.

Full-Time Goddess, Part-Time Barber.